You hear from a friend that someone you both know and love has just been diagnosed with cancer. Or maybe you've gotten news about a beloved relative through the family grapevine. Along with the shock and fear you no doubt feel, you may well be wondering: What should I say to them? What words could possibly help?Related video above: New research suggests possibility of mRNA vaccine to prevent skin cancerA good place to start is to put yourself in their shoes. 맥스카지노�Picture yourself in that situation, and think about the feelings you맥스카지노�d have if you맥스카지노�d just been diagnosed," says Thea Gallagher, Psy.D., clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at NYU Langone Health, and a mental health and anxiety specialist who has been working with patients with physical health conditions for 14 years. "You might feel in shock, or overwhelmed, or scared. You might immediately take on a fighting attitude, or feel frustrated or angry, like life맥스카지노�s not fair. Or all of those things! You might be scared for the people around you, your loved ones. People who are diagnosed with cancer feel a barrage of emotions, most of them difficult ones.맥스카지노�What to say to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer:An important thing to ask yourself before you reach out to someone: Do you need a moment to process it first? If the topic is especially triggering or uncomfortable for you, there맥스카지노�s a chance you might say something that would make the person feel worse, by transferring your discomfort over to them. Give yourself a little time to process your emotions if needed. But remember 맥스카지노� saying something, even awkwardly, can be so much better than saying nothing at all.Here, from Gallagher and other cancer experts, are things to remember when talking to someone who has cancer.Listen 맥스카지노� and acknowledge it if you don맥스카지노�t know quite what to say.맥스카지노�This is such a powerful thing,맥스카지노� says Gallagher. 맥스카지노�Don맥스카지노�t feel like you have to fill the air. Less is more. Sometimes when a moment feels awkward, we맥스카지노�ll reach for a platitude, like 맥스카지노�it맥스카지노�ll all be okay맥스카지노� 맥스카지노� but resist the urge, even though you may think you맥스카지노�re being helpful.맥스카지노� It can be powerful to simply say, 맥스카지노�I맥스카지노�m so sorry to hear the news맥스카지노�I don맥스카지노�t know really what to say in this moment, but I맥스카지노�m here to listen.맥스카지노� Gallagher adds, 맥스카지노�It맥스카지노�s also important not to avoid the person, or to avoid or change the topic if they bring it up. Follow their lead. Don맥스카지노�t dictate the pace of the conversation. Let them do it.맥스카지노�Don맥스카지노�t invalidate their feelings.Remember: Whatever the person is going through is normal, whether that맥스카지노�s grief, anger, depression, fear, being remote and withdrawn or denial. They have the right to any and all emotions they맥스카지노�re feeling, and it맥스카지노�s not your job (or anyone맥스카지노�s job) to change that.If you tell them to 맥스카지노�stay positive맥스카지노� or that 맥스카지노�it맥스카지노�ll all turn out okay,맥스카지노� this may sound upbeat to you, but phrases like this can discount and invalidate how the person may actually be feeling. 맥스카지노�You might think that saying something like this is giving them hope in that moment 맥스카지노� but you could actually be putting pressure on them to react a certain way like they맥스카지노�re not allowed to feel the way they맥스카지노�re feeling,맥스카지노� says Gallagher. 맥스카지노�Don맥스카지노�t assume you know how they feel. Meet them where they맥스카지노�re at.맥스카지노� It맥스카지노�s possible that they맥스카지노�ll face their treatment in an upbeat, 맥스카지노�I맥스카지노�ll win this battle맥스카지노� mode. The American Cancer Society points out that this doesn맥스카지노�t mean they맥스카지노�re in denial 맥스카지노� particularly if they맥스카지노�re getting the medical help they need. They may simply have decided to take a positive outlook, and you can certainly follow their lead. Be careful to avoid being judgmental.As Cancer.net notes, getting cancer is never someone맥스카지노�s fault. In fact, the organization points out, research has proven that most cancer is caused by random mutations, or changes, in our genes. So it's key to avoid stigmatizing the person, says the American Cancer Society, which basically means blaming them for bringing the illness on themselves. Stigmatizing someone can have an incredibly negative impact on their psyche and how they approach their illness 맥스카지노� so if you have those thoughts or feelings, keep 맥스카지노�em to yourself. "Suspend your questions, especially in the beginning," says Gallagher.If the person says something like 맥스카지노�If only I맥스카지노�d quit smoking 10 years earlier맥스카지노� or 맥스카지노�If only I맥스카지노�d gotten breast screening years ago,맥스카지노� then, Gallagher says, 맥스카지노�Slow down, and think before you speak. They might be looking for answers to an unknown situation, or trying to make sense of it or assign blame. In this situation, it맥스카지노�s good to do reflective listening. 맥스카지노�This sounds so scary 맥스카지노� what can I do to help in this moment?맥스카지노� A lot of time, cancer is a senseless situation.맥스카지노� Remember: It's not about you. Even if you맥스카지노�ve had cancer, don맥스카지노�t say that you know just how they feel. Not everyone who has cancer reacts the same way, of course. Similarly, it맥스카지노�s best to avoid telling them details about a friend or family who had the same type of cancer, because their experiences may be different (and it맥스카지노�s making it more about you, rather than them). 맥스카지노�This invalidates the person's unique experience," says Dr. Gallagher. "Be curious about their experience. They just got hit by a Mack truck of news 맥스카지노� it맥스카지노�s overwhelming. Try not to bring your own experiences into it, especially in the beginning.맥스카지노� Keep showing up. Right after someone is diagnosed, there맥스카지노�s a flurry of support and response from friends맥스카지노�and then it may drop off. So stay in touch: Send texts and/or notes, light and brief, to let them know you맥스카지노�re thinking about them. Drop off some flowers just because you saw some at the store, or a book for their kids from the library. And keep offering the sort of specific help mentioned above: The need may be there for quite some time, and your help will be appreciated. 맥스카지노�It맥스카지노�s the most powerful thing you can do, because it맥스카지노�s a long haul,맥스카지노� says Gallagher.Especially if it맥스카지노�s a close friend, try to treat them the same way you did before they had cancer 맥스카지노� in other words, not with kid gloves, but certainly with a big dose of compassion. 맥스카지노�There맥스카지노�s not a one-size-fits-all way to respond when someone you know is diagnosed with cancer,맥스카지노� says Gallagher. 맥스카지노�You may mess up along the way and say the wrong thing, but keep showing up. Stay longer than you think you might need to, because it can be a long journey. Stick around. That맥스카지노�s the most important thing.맥스카지노�